Okay, so I’ve already divulged that I’m a Canadian. Most Canadians, if you didn’t know, prize the value our country places on our forward-thinking, borderline European, perspective on societal rights and equality. Prime Minister Trudeau didn’t waste any time in announcing—what I considered to be a pretty gimmicky—gender neutral cabinet. I wouldn’t have cared if he appointed an entirely female cabinet or filled it exclusively with Harry Potter fans as long as those selected were the most qualified for the job (i.e running the damn country). Splitting exactly in half just comes off kind of forced or contrived. But that’s old news.
Now, us Canadians on our igloo tower are tackling our national anthem. Oh yes, nothing is spared. For those of you who don’t know one line of our relatively young anthem (it was “God Save the Queen” or “O Canada” until 1967, the former still bearing the “Royal Anthem” designation) refers to the populace as “thy sons” instead of the obviously more equitable “us”. I know, right? Easy decision, let’s move on. It’s not like there isn’t precedence already for altering the lyrics and it seems like a simple, straightforward way to underscore that legendary Canadian inclusiveness. Seriously, there are starving children to attend to.
Nope, sorry kids, queue national debate.
That really got me riled up. Not the debate per se, debate is a fundamental if not often tedious tenet of modern society. It’s the cretins that emerge from their atavistic holes in the ground that frustrate me. One all too common and insidiously spurious argument often regurgitated by these troglodytes attempts to defame the concept of “political correctness”. And every one seems to belch out their fatuous contempt the same smarmy tone. How does that still stand as a valid argument? It’s essentially protesting social progress. Political correctness is a goal we should strive to achieve. And to oppose it out of misplaced tradition or nostalgia makes you an idiot. You know, there are a lot of fucked up traditions that nobody wants to see return. I’m not even going to bother to list any for fear of leaving out an exceptionally ludicrous one. I’ll leave it for homework; and when you’re done listing five inane rules or traditions our not-even-close-to-omniscient forebears concocted recite the following: “Praise be! I live in the twenty-first century.”
That hesitance to revise obsolete laws and traditions remains the source of a plethora of societal ills. No one told Bill Gates to stop at DOS: “You know, I think we’re good Bill. This is something easy to swallow people can really believe in!” Or maybe we should have called it quits at Morse code?: “- …. .- – / .– — ..- .-.. -.. / …. .- …- . / -… . . -. / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. –. / … – ..- .–. .. -..” (Thanks to SCPhillips.com). It’s ludicrous to propose the limiting of progress in any other facet of our wonderfully complex modern society so why is it still an acceptable argument when it regards the Charters and Constitutions that are the very foundations of it? I will concede that it is important to keep the essence of righteous and venerable traditions but why is improving them to better align with contemporary mores perceived by some to be so preposterous? Isn’t evolve and adapt kind of what we do? Although, some opponents of political correctness might have their objections to evolution too.
I think marriage is a wonderful example. In most countries, no one thinks twice about two men or women marrying. Others, gay or straight may choose to eschew the tradition completely in favour of a more transient agreement. It’s not like anyone (with any credibility) ever suggested we open the law to inter-species unions—let your cat and dog honour each other in their own way for Christ’s sake! The fundamental concept remains: two people choose to move forward together.
Unfortunately, until the troglodytes smarten up, die off or realize they have the right to remain silent (like the Amish!) we will be doomed to listen to their grating assails on political correctness. So to all of them, let me extend a hearty:
Congratulations on your civil union!
And in all of us command!